On Faith and Doubt
April 15, 2026
Rev. Traceymay Kalvaitis
Psalm 16: 7-9
I bless the LORD, who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I keep the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure.
John 20:19-31
When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors were locked where the disciples were, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.
***
Today’s sermon is titled On Faith and Doubt.
Each year, on the Sunday following Easter, we are offered the scriptures we heard from the 20th chapter of John. I am usually completely carried away by the idea of Jesus’s appearance, his benevolent message of peace, and his gift of the Holy Spirit offered through his breath. There is so much to consider in any one of those three. This year, however, I was compelled to learn more about Thomas, the disciple that has come to be known as “doubting Thomas.”
Today, I hope to bring to light what we know about the disciple Thomas and also propose that the one we often refer to as “doubting Thomas” could also be known as “faithful Thomas.” Faithful Thomas would be a more appropriate name for the one for whom Christ returned for. Thomas had not been with the other disciples when Christ first appeared; Christ came again when Thomas was also present. Christ offered his wounds, quite literally the wounds of the world…offered them to Thomas without accusation and without shaming. Christ appears and offers his blessing of peace and then he shows Thomas the evidence of what is the exact opposite of peace. Christ shows evidence of violence and brutality. Christ shows what humankind is capable of when holding on to power becomes the primary objective.
The disciples are paralyzed with fear because they know they could be arrested; they, too, could be crucified. The disciples know what humankind is capable of when holding on to power becomes the primary objective. Christ opens his hands and reveals the wound on his side as proof of what humankind is capable of and Thomas is convinced.
Christ continues to appear to the disciples. Different accounts are offered in the four different Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), but in two of the Gospels, Christ gives the disciples a charge. Their charge is referred to as the Great Commission. In the account from Matthew, we see again how doubt and faith are cycling through the hearts and minds of the disciples. Here is the Great Commission as recorded in Matthew 28 (vs. 16-20):
“…the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’”
Thomas took the Great Commission to heart. Thomas travelled to the subcontinent of India to the southern coastal community of Kerala. Records dating back to the year 52 CE show that Thomas established what are regarded as the oldest international Christian communities. He is credited with starting seven different churches across the region during his 20 year ministry before his work became enough of a threat to those in power; Thomas was put to death by the king (of Mylapore) and buried at the site where now the San Thomé (St. Thomas) Cathedral stands.** There are four surviving literary works credited to the Apostle Thomas, among them The Gospel of Thomas, found by an Egyptian laborer who was digging for clay in the village of Nag Haddim, Egypt, in the late 1940’s. (see below for a few quotes)
Works of literature are not all that Thomas left behind after his premature death. The Thomas Christian cross is unique in all the world.
From the library of Vanderbilt University, we find the following interpretation: The symbols include a cross, a dove, and a lotus blossom. The dove at the very top is a reference to the role of the Holy Spirit. The cross itself features four flowering points that suggest the cross as a tree of life. The cross sits within a lotus blossom, a Buddhist symbol of rebirth or enlightenment. Finally, at the base are three steps representing the three crosses of Calvary.*
Today, over 4 million people in India identify as Thomas Christians, all because of one man and the collection of teachings that he brought from 3100 miles away.
Are you beginning to see why the name “Doubting Thomas” does not apply to this man? Imagine the faith required to travel 3100 miles in the first century.
Before we close, I just want to spend a few minutes focusing on the relationship between doubt and faith. This past week, for the first time, I can see how doubt and faith are both necessary and helpful and connected in the sense that doubt can lead to greater faith and greater faith can also lead to other doubts that can, eventually, lead to even greater faith. (If the word faith is abstract, then substitute the word “trust.”
I will rely on the words of others to take us home with this premise that we can appreciate how doubt informs and supports our trust and faith. As follows is a daily meditation from the Center of Action and Contemplation titled Faith and Doubt are not Opposites:
“Basic religious faith is a vote for some coherence, purpose, benevolence, and direction in the universe. Unfortunately, the notion of faith that emerged in the West was much more a rational assent to the truth of certain mental beliefs rather than a calm and hopeful trust that God is inherent in all things, and that this whole thing is going somewhere good.
I worry about “true believers” who cannot carry any doubt or anxiety at all, as Thomas the Apostle and Saint Teresa of Calcutta (1910–1997) learned to do. Doubt and faith are actually correlative terms. People of great faith often suffer bouts of great doubt because they continue to grow. Mother Teresa experienced decades of this kind of doubt, as was revealed after her death. In a letter to a trusted spiritual director she wrote, “Darkness is such that I really do not see — neither with my mind nor with my reason. — The place of God in my soul is blank. — There is no God in me.” The very fact that the world media and people in general were scandalized by this demonstrates how limited is our understanding of the nature of biblical faith.
It seems a movement from certitude to doubt and through doubt to acceptance of life’s mystery is necessary in all encounters, intellectual breakthroughs, and relationships, not just with the Divine. Human faith and religious faith are much the same except in their object or goal. What set us on the wrong path was making the object of religious faith “ideas” or doctrines instead of a person. Our faith is not a faith that dogmas or moral opinions are true, but a faith that Ultimate Reality/God/Christ is accessible to us—and even on our side. To hold the full mystery of life is always to endure its other half, which is the equal mystery of death and doubt. To know anything fully is always to hold that part of it which is still mysterious and unknowable.”***
In closing, and in homage to the life and legacy of Faithful Thomas (as he shall forever now be named), I will leave you with the words of Albert Hoffstickler, an American poet: he writes, “There is always that edge of doubt. Trust it. That’s where the new things come from. So let your prayer be this: save me from that tempting certainty that leads me back from the edge, that dark edge where the first light breaks.” May we leave here with a deeper appreciation for our doubts and dimly lit places of mystery while we turn always, and forever, towards the light that is Christ. So be it. Amen.
*https://gallery.library.vanderbilt.edu/exhibits/show/syriaca/item/2572
**https://www.google.com/search?q=thomas+the+disciple+in+india+brittanica&oq=thomas+the+disciple&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBggAEEUYOzIGCAAQRRg7Mg0IARAuGJECGIAEGIoFMgYIAhAjGCcyDAgDEAAYFBiHAhiABDIHCAQQABiABDIMCAUQABgUGIcCGIAEMg0IBhAAGJECGIAEGIoFMg0IBxAAGJECGIAEGIoFMgcICBAAGIAE0gEIOTc1M2owajeoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
***https://cac.org/daily-meditations/faith-and-doubt-are-not-opposites-2021-02-03/
For more Thomas cross images: https://www.google.com/search?q=thomas+christian+cross&sca_esv=c99dc4ab72a1909f&udm=2&biw=1440&bih=754&sxsrf=ANbL-n7XCRSmNi5bM3ZBFCw3ME6KFL78Pw%3A1775764861163&ei=fQXYaeLHCc_k5NoPva3b6Ao&ved=0ahUKEwii-oPOx-GTAxVPMlkFHb3WFq0Q4dUDCBI&oq=thomas+christian+cross&gs_lp=Egtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZyIWdGhvbWFzIGNocmlzdGlhbiBjcm9zczIGEAAYBRgeSPwfUNsBWOAMcAF4AJABAJgBiwKgAesKqgEFNS4yLjO4AQzIAQD4AQGYAgigAqYGwgIGEAAYBxgewgIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBcICBRAAGIAEwgIIEAAYBxgIGB7CAggQABgFGAcYHsICChAAGAcYCBgKGB6YAwCIBgGSBwU2LjEuMaAHgCeyBwU1LjEuMbgHnAbCBwcwLjMuNC4xyAcmgAgA&sclient=gws-wiz-img
From the Gospel of Thomas:
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
“Jesus said, “If those who lead you say to you, ‘See, the kingdom is in the sky,’ then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, ‘It is in the sea,’ then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty.”
“When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter the kingdom.”
Pastoral Prayer
Source of Love that we call God, we try to name you although you are nameless; we try to interpret you, even though you are unfathomable. Help us, Holy One, to be at peace with your vastness that can not be named and your message of unconditional love that includes us all, each and every one. For those who are ailing, we pray for comfort. For those facing death, we pray for peace. Through your strength and grace, Lord, given to us through the Holy Spirit, help us to extend ourselves as disciples of your love. Empower us to make choices that consider the well-being of the earth and the well-being of our brothers and sisters. This we pray in Christ’s name. Amen.
Benediction
I leave you with these words from the book of Ephesians, chapter 2:
“May God grant you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in deep knowledge. May the eyes of your mind be enlightened so you may know what is the hope of his calling.”