On Believing Before Seeing
December 14, 2025
Rev. Traceymay Kalvaitis
Psalm 80: 7, 17-19
Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved. But let your hand be upon the one at your right hand, the one whom you made strong for yourself. Then we will never turn back from you; give us life, and we will call on your name. Restore us, O LORD God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved.
Matthew 1:18-25
Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public
disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: “Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son, and he named him Jesus.
*** Today’s sermon is titled On Believing Before Seeing.
This past week I saw one of my favorite bumper stickers. It reads: Humankind. Be both.
Only once have I seen my other favorite bumper sticker; it reads: “You don’t have to believe everything you think.” We see the truth of this in our reading about Joseph this week. If Joseph had truly believed his thoughts that Mary had been unfaithful to him, we would not have figures in our nativity named Mary and Joseph.
Here is how engagement and marriage took place in first century Jewish culture. Marriage was a contract arranged between a woman’s father and the father of the man interested in marrying her. An agreed upon price was paid to the woman’s father and in the presence of at least two witnesses, the couple gave their consent to be wed. This was followed by a year of living separately until the husband came to take his bride to his parent’s home.* It was during this year when Joseph found out that Mary was with child. Naturally Joseph thought that Mary had been unfaithful to him. This was an offense punishable by death, according to the Jewish law, as recorded in the 22nd chapter of Deuteronomy. And lest you think that it is only a woman who is punished for sexual indiscretions, I can assure you that the 22nd chapter of Deuteronomy has a long list of circumstances in which the man is also held accountable and subject to a death by public stoning.**
We read in the scriptures for today that Joseph was a “righteous” man. Other translations say he was “honorable” indicating that he was well aware of the scope of Jewish law. We can also assume that Joseph, like any other person, would be not only deeply disappointed and hurt, he would have been well aware that he would suffer some amount of public shame by either quietly divorcing her, or in choosing to remain as her husband.
What we learn about Joseph in his choice to quietly divorce Mary is this: Joseph is more concerned about Mary’s future than his own. He weighs the costs and even though he knows he is blameless, he does not place the blame on Mary. Let’s not miss the sequence of events here, Friends, because I think we have a great deal to learn from Joseph’s example. He searches his own conscience, he makes a decision that requires him to set aside his pride and his righteous indignation, and it is then that deeper understanding is revealed to him; it is then that another path in life is opened to him. We speak of Mary’s Annunciation; this is Joseph’s Annunciation.
“In a dream” we read, Joseph is visited by an angel. The author of the Gospel of Matthew frequently uses “dreams” as a means of divine guidance; there are five instances in the Gospel of Matthew. The Franciscan theologian, Father Richard Rohr, invites us to think of this dream state not necessarily as an experience only available to us when we are asleep, but rather anytime we truly seek a deeper knowing beyond what appears to us on the surface of things.
When circumstances challenge us to our limits, when the actions of others confound us, or even harm us, when we are at a loss for how to respond and how to proceed, I hope that we will remember Joseph. I hope we will remember how Joseph was able to believe in Mary’s goodness and protect her even though what he was seeing was difficult to accept. I hope that we will remember how Joseph tested his first thoughts before they solidified into unfounded beliefs. I hope that we will remember how he searched his own heart, how he was willing to put another’s wellbeing above his own, and how, after that difficult decision, he received the gift of insight and understanding that allowed him to face the challenging circumstances of his life with confidence.
This one decision Joseph made, in choosing how to respond to his disappointment over Mary, was one of so many other difficult decisions to come. Imagine how he had to explain his choice, over and over again, to family and community members. Under order of the Emperor, Joseph would be traveling with his wife and unborn child for 80 miles. He would be responsible for finding shelter and provisions when there was no room for them in the inn. He would host shepherds and kings. And he would be the one to be warned, again in a dream, to flee the country of his birth and live as refugees in Egypt to protect the life of the little one who had turned Joseph’s life completely upside down.
Friends, most of us have experienced many Christmases. We have seen more than a few pageants and we have heard countless sermons about the birth of Jesus. It is so easy to think we know how the story goes and what it is all about. As the bumper sticker reminds us, we don’t have to believe everything we think. Afterall, the Christmas story is not about thinking, and it’s not really about believing either…it’s about allowing ourselves to experience it again, as if for the first time. It’s about allowing ourselves to be changed by it, changed because we empathize with what it may have been like for Joseph, what it may have been like for Mary, and all those that loved them. They had a difficult path to walk; they chose to walk it together and they were not alone. The light that would coalesce in the coming Christ guided their way.
In closing, I pray that the same Christ light will shine brightly for us this season and forevermore. So be it. Amen.
*https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ancient-jewish-marriage/
**https://www.biblestudytools.com/kjv/deuteronomy/passage/?q=deuteronomy+22:20-30
Pastoral Prayer
Infinite Love we call God, I pray your guidance within us through the challenges of our lives. We have been told that nothing can separate us from your everlasting love; help us to be open and trusting enough to experience that as truth, and as grace. When we struggle and when we
soar, remind us to look beyond ourselves and expand our awareness that we may begin to fathom the workings of the Divine, even in the most mundane aspects of our lives. Help us to choose
the paths that lead us closer to the place within where your love resides. Grant us the wisdom and the courage it takes to slow down and listen for your still, small voice, Lord. Guide us to know when to act in a way that allows for healing, hope and possibility. All this I ask in Jesus’s name. Amen.
Benediction
I leave you with these words from the book of Philippians, chapter 4: “May God supply your every need according to his riches in Christ Jesus.”